Title: Your Smile
Rating: Not sure
Summary: Triangle between Subassan and OhYAss.
An exhausted and slightly annoyed Subaru enters the gakuya while discarding his shirt off his skinny but well-toned body. He descended onto the nearest couch he can find in the room.
“I’m tired..” said him to no one in particular.
Trying to revive his energy, he closes his eyes, trying to shut himself from the surrounding and struggle for a peace of mind. He was not any near that state of mind, not until he pick up a familiar and warm scent. The scent sent his mind, body and soul at ease at once.
“How can you still smell so good even when you’re all sweats and stuff Yasu?” amuse Subaru. His eyes still close but his lip form a smile.
“And how can you tell it’s me by only smell, Shibuyan? What are you?” replies Yasu, smiling too. He feels flattered in fact.
Subaru doesn’t have to open his eyes to know that Yasu is smiling so brightly right now. His trademark smile that has repeatedly save Subaru from loneliness and brightens up his gloomy days. It is so infectious that it can even light up a very dark void that has been occupying Subaru’s heart all this while.
“Because I love you and you have no idea how much” mutters Subaru only to himself and not enough for Yasu to hear. Subaru flicks open his only to be greeted by the view of Yasu’s shirtless back. Subaru could not keep his eyes off Yasu. His heart aches. He wants Yasu so much and he knows Yasu shares the same feeling as him. But, to cross that one line that separates them from mere best friend to lovers requires so much from both party and Subaru don’t have the confidence to be able to give enough. While in his own dreamland, a rather light and affectionate smack landed on Subaru’s head from the strong hand of his best friend, Hina, the soccer freak of the group.
“Your eyes are going to pop out if you keep on staring that hard, Shibuyan. Wipe your drool.” says Hina while sitting himself next to Subaru. A soft laugh escapes from him.
“I have no idea of what you’re saying.” retorts Subaru.
“Whatever, Shibuyan, whatever. I know you know I know. Wanna talk about it?”
“What’s there to talk about? “ Subaru sigh softly.
“Shibuyan, I don’t know what is holding you back. I really don’t understand it all. You need to tell Yasu how you feel about him. Keeping it to yourself when it’s so obvious to the world is only going to hurt both you and Yasu. Think of his feeling. I heard from Maru that Yasu feels at loss thinking about you and him. Why wouldn’t you confess to him puzzles him so much.”
“So what if I tell him, Hina? You know love hurts and hurting him is the last thing that I wanna do.
“Then don’t hurt him. Love doesn’t necessarily hurt. It’s all in your hand. I know you have not had good experience with love before, but you never know until you try it, with Yasu. I’m sure it would be different altogether.”
“Not with me. Love always hurts in the end, it’s just the matter of who’s at the receiving end. I can’t trust myself. For all we know, I might end up hurting him.”
To Hina, Subaru words sounds like it bears the heaviest load from his heart. Hina couldn’t help but feeling sorry for his friend. Vulnerable and fragile but there’s nothing Hina can do to help.
“I just hope it’s not too late by the time you realize this is wrong. He maybe right in front of you right now, is waiting for you. But you never know what will happen in the future.” with that, Hina rise from his seat, leaving Subaru. Subaru feels a tight knot in his stomach at hearing Hina’s last word.
Yasu lets out a sigh. He can feel Subaru eyes on his back. He knows all this while. He’s not blind nor dumbs neither stupid. He can feel it all. Subaru’s feelings, want, need and desires. They are displayed obviously through his pair of dark eyes. The only thing missing right now is Subaru admitting those feelings of his. He’s sure that Subaru’s knows he feels the same about him. He’s been waiting day after day, months after months until 3 years has passed by, the waiting is in vain. Yasu feels a drop of tear sliding down his cheek.
“Yassan..” a strong pair of arms wraps itself around Yasu’s waist, chin landed on his shoulder.
“Tacchon, I’m all sweat” Yasu giggles, feeling slightly ticklish by Tacchon’s warm breath that greets his neck.
“I don’t mind.” Tacchon doesn’t budge a bit. He tightens his arms around Yasu’s waist. Yasu understands why Tacchon’s like this. In fact, Tacchon never made it a secret why. Tacchon likes Yasu. Yasu was at first a bit uncomfortable with Tacchon snuggling, hugging, and even kissing him, but now he’s accustomed to it. Sometimes he even feels cheered by those. But, Yasu never admits it. Not wanting to give Tacchon fake hopes. He doesn’t want Tacchon to hurt even more. Yasu’s heart felt for Tacchon. Tacchon knows about Yasu’s feeling towards Subaru and he never forces his feelings towards Yasu and he doesn’t seem to mind at all.
“Tacchon, gomenasai. Honto ni, gomenasai.”
Yasu’s sudden apology surprised Tacchon. He turns Yasu around in his arm, facing him. Yasu gaze fixed on the ground. Wanting eye contact, Tacchon lift Yasu’s face, only to be greeted by Yasu’s face streaming with tears.
“Yasu, what’s wrong? Tell me, don’t cry please.”
“I’m sorry I can’t love you as much as you love me Tacchon. Trust me, I’ll give whatever I have if I will be able to change my heart. If only I can forget him.”
Tacchon fingers move to wipe Yasu’s tears.
“Silly. I never blame you. Why are you sorry? I know you don’t want to forget in the first place, just like I don’t want to forget you. I’m happy just like this. Knowing you’re happy makes me happy. Isn’t that what you always said?”
“Tacchon, you deserve someone else. Someone who can give you what I can’t.” Yasu buried his face against Tacchon’s chest. Crying his heart out.
“Stop torturing yourself Yasu. If Subaru wouldn’t confess to you, why don’t you confess to him?”
“You think I should? What if he says no?”
“You wouldn’t know until you ask”
With those words, Yasu found a new confidence in himself. Why should Subaru be the one to confess? He can too.
Subaru watch Yasu and Tacchon. Tears swell. His heart is breaking. They look good together, he thought. He no longer can watch. He got up, pick up his things, put on a shirt and make an escape to the door. Before he reaches the door, a voice stops him.
“Shibuyan.. Where are you going?” ask Yasu, no longer in Tacchon’s arms.
“Home.” Subaru can’t look Yasu in the eyes.
“Ano, would you like to go out have dinner together tonight. There’s something wanna tell you. Please.” Yasu sounds almost like a plead.
“I don’t think I can. Sorry.” the look on Yasu’s face when Subaru says no was unbearable. Little did Subaru know that he will forever regret saying no to Yasu that night. Little did he know that would be last time he saw those love for him in Yasu’s eyes.
Subaru’s sleep was disrupted by the sound of his keitai. Not wanting to pick up at first, he gave up when it won’t stop ringing. The screen of his keitai displays ‘Hina’. He flip open his keitai, grumbling, “This better be very important Hina or else..”
“Yasu had an accident!!!” Hina cuts Subaru off.